Fathering the Future

We live in a world where our future depends on the upbringing of our children. They are our legacy, an extension of us. They will figure who they are, there purpose in life, and where they come from, from the guidance you surround them with.

This is For Fathers and Future Fathers around the World.

 

This write up isn't here to teach or tell you how to raise your children or future children, but to help open your eyes to certain things and to get them gears moving in that brain.

 

The question is this, What does being a father mean to you?

 

I have children, 3 of them and a 4th on her way. Everyday I question myself, wondering if I'm showing good characteristics of what a man should be and how one should carry himself. Wondering if the lessons and advice I give, are the best ones to give despite of other peoples beliefs. WHAT DOES BEING A FATHER MEAN TO ME?

 

It means protecting, providing, supporting, and most importantly unconditional love. Yes, this implies to 1-4,5,6, or 100 children close in age or apart. Those who have one child its simple but not simple. Those that have more, well all that mean is you just have to work harder in putting more effort in your children. My children, my family is my world. At the end of the day, they are all that matters and they will always be there. They will carry out the lessons that is taught by there father and pass it down upon there children. We all have heard of "the apple doesn't fall, far from the tree". But Lets take a moment, and  break down the qualities that makes up being a good father.

 

First one is Protecting..

Men are different from women. They are wired differently, think differently. They have instincts and attitudes and physical strengths that empower them for tough-minded, sacrificial service to those people who count most in their lives, starting with their families.
All the special features of an adult male’s personality, developed from boyhood can be coordinated toward a single great purpose in life: protection.

These male attributes include muscles, will power, stamina, competitive drive, aggressiveness and assertiveness, mathematical and abstractive powers of mind, love for strategic planning and manipulating physical reality, strong sense of fairness and ethical conduct.
Nature, it seems, endows men with the physical and mental powers they need to protect their loved ones. The instinct to protect from harm lies at the core of a man’s masculinity, and it is an immensely powerful force. First of all, a family man devotes his manly powers to protect his wife from anyone who would threaten her. It seems to be a natural instinct among males, to protect the women in their lives – wife, mother, sisters, daughters – from outsiders’ aggression.

 

Related to this physical protection is another aspect of a man’s protectiveness, one that fathers today often fail to understand. A man permits no one to threaten or upset his wife – and this includes their own children. A hugely important part of a father’s job is to defend his wife against their children’s rudeness, insolent disobedience, and impulsive aggression. This protection counts most to his wife when the kids are small (under 7) and later when they enter adolescence. A man will permit no one to disrespect his wife, including – and even especially – at home.

 

It is a father’s mission, the challenge that brings out the best in him, to form in his children the powers and attitudes they will need to succeed in life, to strengthen them so they in turn can later protect themselves and their own loved ones. So, in his children’s eyes a great father is a lifelong leader and teacher. His protective, empowering lessons about right and wrong live on in the inner lives of his children, long after they’ve left home for good, and indeed long after he has passed to his eternal reward.

 

Second is Providing...

A man also defends his family through what he earns in his work.

That is, he doesn’t just provide for his family; he protects them from poverty. He shelters them, takes care of their needs for a roof, food, and clothing. While Dad has a job, the family feels secure. Even in a two-income home, it seems, children sense that Dad is the main provider, and therefore the family’s main protector. Moreover, he protects his children from forces that threaten them here and now: drugs, bullies, criminals, unjust aggressors of all types, and potential disasters arising from their inexperience and impulsive mistakes. But most of all – and this is crucially important – a father protects his children by strengthening them so they can later protect themselves. In the lives of his children, he asserts loving leadership toward responsible, competent adulthood.

Third is Support...
Sometimes as fathers or parents in general we forget how it felt to be a kid or be in certain situations that's children are currently going or have gone through. Supporting a children, means you believe in there believes. You show interest and encouragement in there life. Any parent can support a child by telling them and making them do things that we would do. But that in itself can open up small cracks of resentment or negativity. Its our job to find ways to adapt our lessons to the child since we preach about being the experience ones., not the other way around and force them. Depending on the situation, sometimes a father must not support in order to support. Sounds crazy, but its necessary. It makes the child think, and strengthen there strategic planning and problem solving skills.

Fourth is Love...
A father strengthens his children’s competence.
He forms lifelong healthy attitudes to work, along with serious habits of work. Without a father’s leadership in this arena, his kids can have trouble grasping the connection between effort and results, between standards and achievement. If he fails here, his children may never outgrow the dominant attitude of childhood -- that life is play -- and remain stuck in a permanent adolescence. This can later destroy them, their careers, and their families.

A father teaches his children ethics and gives final form to their lifelong conscience.
That is, he shows his sons and daughters how to comfort themselves justly and honorably in the world outside the home. In his children’s eyes, he is an expert on fair dealings and personal integrity in the workplace and community. He shows his kids how their mother’s moral teachings carry over later to life outside the home: telling the truth, keeping one’s word, putting duty first, deferring to others’ rights and feelings. By his example and correction at home, he shows how responsible adults respect each others’ rights and assert their own.

He helps them to use their brains like responsible adults: to frame questions and answers logically, to think ahead and foresee consequences, to assess people’s character and values, and to know malarkey when they see it.
• A father provides an attractive example of responsible masculinity.
He acts as a model for his sons’ growth into manhood. And he conveys to his daughters (most often unconsciously) the traits they should look for in judging the character of men their age, especially suitors for marriage. In countless subtle ways, Dad forms a pattern for manly character in each of his sons and, indirectly, for the kind of man each daughter will someday marry.

Being a father has a Major key roll in a son and daughters development and character..